Do a little Daye(may)-dreaming

Daye's day (with Bb)

(I know, I know, not our most flattering pic. We’re both really… growing. :P)

Forgive me if I doubt us sometimes. It can be hard to unhand our pasts.

Mending glasses means living with cracks, and you and me, we are both (rightly) flawed. :) But you are truly beautiful to me, despite it all.

Someones broke our promises, but now I know it’s ours to keep. Someones broke a lot of our hearts, but now I know it’s meant for us to weep.

We had our choices and we made it together, so we’ll always make it together.

As long as you hold onto my hand tightly, and I hold onto yours without letting go, anything can be ok. :)

Happy almost 6 and a half, Bb. We still have more than a lifetime to go.

Through it all, I love you and I will love you.

And I know, you will say… too.

:)

It hit me (pardon) while I was driving home.

If and when you pick something up with your hands, you’d better be able to let go… lest you need your hands to pick something else up and you find them full. You wouldn’t be able to progress now, would you.

Simple, isn’t it? Pick up, let go, pick up, let go, pick up, let go.

Simple… right? :S Not really, unfortunately.

Good luck with your detaching! :)

No luxury to wallow. Just need to keep keeping head above water… and breathe.

Deeply. Everything is deeply, for now.

I’ll be back.

Dear readers, I apologise for the nasty post previously.

Those of you who are truly my friends, will understand why I have to show such an ugly side of myself.

Those of you who are judging me, please go fuck yourselves.

Anyway, time for me to get on with life. ;)

This will be my last post in response to you because I’m done ding-donging with you and I can no longer be bothered to let you bother me anymore.

Don’t bother being nice. Don’t bother with the hi’s and hello’s. Don’t bother offering me drinks when you see me, like in the club the other day when you were all chummy. Because it’s obvious now - you never meant anything you said in front of me,  you never meant to be nice and you never meant to make peace. Everything is for show.

I have never even told you off yet for being the third party, for latching onto another girl’s guy and for generally doing all the things you should never have done where the relationship was concerned. All I’ve ever done is take it out on him and yeah, he does deserve it. You of all people should know, since you claim to know so much anyway. And now you want to lecture me about being angry and being hurt????? Please, save your breath!

Btw, a person your age should know it isn’t cool to ‘comfort’ and sleep with someone when they’ve just had a fight with their significant other… stop lying to yourself and being such a fool about whatever reasons you were doing it for. You should have kicked him out of your bed and sent him home to settle things like a man, before allowing him to spinelessly crawl up to you. Yes, that’s the kind of man you fell in love with! And I am ashamed to say I let him have the best of me!

But anyway, everything is in the past. That’s why I sincerely thought we could be friends. That’s why, with a little bit more patience and a little bit more time, forgiveness should be possible… but now I know, you don’t really want it and neither do you really appreciate it. You go about making such a goddamn big fuss about extending your hand in friendship in front of everyone, but now that you’ve finally been given an opportunity to make peace, you turn it down. So come on, it’s obvious it’s not forgiveness, peace or friendship that you want. You just want to be seen as the one who’s doing the right thing.

Here’s good luck, and here’s good riddance. To you, to him and to a past that I would erase if I could. Not because I regret it, but because I would honestly rather not have to go through so much trouble presently. Thank you for taking him off my hands, and truly giving me a wake-up call. Because honestly, if I’d allowed myself to waste more of the best years of my life, I doubt I would be able to forgive MYSELF in the future.

And oh, do grow up. If you can’t do something, then don’t act like you can. If you don’t like me, then don’t act like you do. Because I would never be so two-faced, even to you.

Busy busy busy busy busy.

No, I have no time for updating blog at all. Plus I have no proper tools for the job at home.

So very sorry. Life is one big sidetrack and I’m trying to find my way back except I don’t have time to do even that for the moment.

Will be back when I slow down. Hugs.

… when you start questioning your inspirations and ideas to make sure they’re as practical as they’re creative (about your stress level).

… when you’ve been sick for a week but you’re still going for the full race everyday (about your health).

… when people start looking up to you as more than a small fry (about your career).

… when he sits you down for a talk of your future together, and you both agree on mutual savings, mutual investments and mutual financial planning (about your love life).

… when you’ve gotta make a decision on commitment (about your lifetime).

I know busy-ness is not an excuse not to blog… but really really, all I wanna do every night is to melt into bed and become one with it till morning. Would be better if Bb was around to melt with me, but he’s just as crazy busy too. Sigh.

Btw, this is long overdue - what I said was let’s not diss each other on our blogs, not tease. :P Anyway, it’s nice that we’ve made our peace. As for forgiveness, it takes time but one day I most probably will… just that the day ain’t here yet and I donno when it’s coming. :) Patience k?

Man, am I gonna be so thankful for the break this weekend. Updates soon and ta for now… I seriously seriously need to stop being so superwoman for a bit. :D

Bb, I’m not the type to quietly stay home and do the dishes while you go out with your mates. I can’t cook the most delicious meals in the world, neither can I iron your shirts to perfection. Sometimes, if I’m too busy, the house might be in a mess and I would probably need you to help me clean it up - do remember to pick up after yourself too, please. And, I promise I will always challenge your word if I find that it clashes with what I believe.

But bb, I’m the type who will listen to your problems, whatever they may be. I’ll help you to think through them, find the means to solve them and pick up whatever weapon is at hand (pen or sword, or maybe even frying pan if that’s the only thing available) to journey by your side for our future. I will stand by you with everything I have - life, heart, soul and spirit. To me, forever isn’t just a word, it’s a promise I intend to keep. I hang on, I cling on, and I will definitely fight on, against whatever odds, big or small, as long as you’re still willing to go through it all with me.

Maybe I can’t really provide you with domestic bliss, but you can be sure I’ll provide you with all the strength, support and excitement to experience this life, as well as the next and the next and the next. :)

Is that ok for you? ;) Happy 5th month. I love you, bb!

Current cure for current bout of bad mood - Monkey Boy Cho!!!!!!

Cheer me up, Liberties!

I miss my drinks, my friends, my fun, and most of all my freedom. WTF. The weekend was supposed to be about reflecting. But now I’m just feeling down and NOT HAPPY.

Sigh. One of those days again. I want to go lay in some peace and quiet (preferably in the sun with a Malibu Pineapple in hand) and not get up for the next freaking god knows how many hours.

Every little thing sets me off. Dammit to bits. Where’s my rainbow????? FUCK. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((